I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
