i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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