Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
