If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We need to get me chipped asap
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
