you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
