Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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