you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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