I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
