She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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