dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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