nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Pooping to opera.
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