I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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