If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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