Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
