I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I faked an abortion last night.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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