I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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