How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
