Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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