At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
