How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
