Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
