Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
