well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
