you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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