Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
