Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
