I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
