Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
