i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
farters have to be the big spoon...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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