I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
