I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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