I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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