You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
