whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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