The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
