he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
