Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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