Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
