i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
