Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
