the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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