she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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