Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Panties = found
Randomize
