No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
