physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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