the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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