Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
