About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
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