you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
