why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
