I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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