I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
