im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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