I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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