having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
